"Everyday is a Winding Road"

My name is Sherry and these are my feelings; I own them!

It's been a while since I blogged but I chalk that up to being extremely busy in my work and in my real life for many months, not to the many twists and turns on the track under the Claytrain.

Let's get this straight first: "Oh Crap" is Sherry and nobody else and especially not one of the most innocent of fans who bore the brunt of accusations for being the mouth behind the keyboard.

Continuing forward: I have a lot to say and so little time. Over the years I have heard many Clay Aiken fans say that it's never easy being a Clay fan but, personally, I think it really is. This man possesses an incomparable talent, many talents actually. He's a natural comedian, he can act and he is a singer extraordinaire. The voice and the smile captured my heart years ago at the onset of AI-2 and the Clay love exploded from there in baby steps. There was the gleam in that sea of green eyes which expressed his absolute joy in singing, then a glimpse into a soul who was so accepting of everyone in spite of the painful rejections he experienced throughout his short lifetime.

So what else has exposure to Clay Aiken done for me personally? What have I learned from his goodness? Refer back to "so much to say and so little time". Acceptance of those who are, in some way, different from me or mine? Never a problem for me! TOLERANCE has always been my biggest issue especially when it involves the kind of pathological cruelty I've witnessed the last 2+ years. I lack tolerance for cruelty and I own that.

So, Self, what underlying issues are you getting at? Let's start with the subject of .... ta daaaa.... Gay Folk. Did I ever have an issue with that prior to the attack on Clay Aiken? I answer with a bonifide, "HELL NO!" The friends I have who happen to be Gay have only EVER shown me their zest for life, their flare for beauty and their desire to love and be loved in return. A former boss and good friend is Gay and, like Clay, he is gorgeous right down to the caps on his teeth. Being my boss and my friend, I met many other "Gay Folk"... like the couple who bought a house via the old FHA 203K whereby you buy a relic in a target neighborhood and fix it up. As this couple were getting ready to have the final escrow money released to do the finishing touches before moving in they brought in photos of the before and after of this immense Victorian house. These men created something so beautiful that I teared up and then I realized that there was so much beauty in themselves that they brought their personal canvas to life.

I didn't know, until recently, that there could be such an ugly side. I didn't know that there are people who would go out of their way to promote division and hatred, not only toward themselves but toward the entire Gay Community. Why is that? Is it residual hatred for oneself? I was falling victim to that division thinking I would never again be able to trust a Gay friend, never again be able to "TOLERATE" them because of the cruelty I'd seen, never again be able to expect the truth from them because of the lies being told about the fandom. We're not all "right wing", we're not all fanatical Christians who see things as our way and the wrong way. The Clay Nation is a mixture of right, left, gay, straight, multiple religious beliefs and those who aren't religious in any way. Those in the fandom who have no religion believe in the system of "Do No Harm" which is as honorable as those of us who TRY to turn the other cheek. The bond for this melting pot of beliefs has always been Clay Aiken.

Okay, so where and what is the conclusion to this diatribe? Here goes! I've had many months to think about it but until the last couple of days I haven't concentrated on it. I have a new granddaughter diagnosed with the genetic disorder called Cornelia de Lange Syndrome. She's cute as a button and only shows the characteristic of the unibrow which can easily be plucked when she gets older. This is a new strain all her own and, luckily, not as severe. This syndrome is not something that is inherited; it's a mutation of a gene during the gestation period. Neither I nor my son have ever asked, "Why me? Why us? Why Sophia Isabella?" We just love her and that's all that's required. If my son ever asks me why this happened to him or why his daughter my answer would be this: I have always taught you how important it is to be color blind, to see uniqueness not differences. Who better to be blessed and entrusted with the well being of a little one who needs a little extra than the most gentle giant of a man that you are. God or fate chose the right father. He could only be YOU.

So, in conclusion, how is this relative to Clay Aiken? There was a brief moment where I asked God and friends at Chexxxy's Place (I'm not an openly, overzealous religious being but everyone needs a kick from above now and then) for a sign, some sort of proof, some inkling of hope that would take away the animosity and restore my faith in those who are Gay. Clay Aiken was the answer God gave me. Like my son, who better?

A New Dawn

Out of respect for Clay Aiken and the fandom, this blog will be launching itself in a new direction now instead of later, away from attention seekers who mean nothing to me, nothing to Clay and nothing to the fandom. There are some things that are just not important to me anymore as you may have noted from 4 months of NOT blogging. There is no magic wand to change bad people into good so I'll just delight in knowing that the bad will devour their young and themselves when starved.

I'm not sure if the blog name will change or if another name would be more appropriate. There are far more serious matters in this world and it's no longer my desire to focus on people who will eventually self-destruct. I can, however, follow a brave man's lead and make a difference by concentrating on matters that really count.

Thank you, Clay Aiken, for being who you are and not who others say you are and thank you to a fellow fan and friend for giving me that extra push to make the changes now that I wanted to make in the future with my blog. There are issues more worthy of people who care. I've wasted enough time trying to take out the garbage. I'm just not that into garbage anymore.

In Honor of the "...Things You Didn't Know about Idol" Special

Today I was watching a special about the things we didn't know about Idol. One of the Brits "plugged" the site "Vote for the Worst" but not in a complimentary way. The significant parting comments centered around the fact that Idol has so many voters that the insignificant number of votes prompted by "Vote for the Worst" doesn't amount to a hill of beans because he (the Brit who shall be nameless) said that the right person would win and he would see to it. Of course, Clay's fans know all about the lengths the AI machine will go to in order to accomplish the outcome they want.

For an interesting read about how dirty the AI machine is go here:

AI7 - The Truth About the Contestants

While I'm Still Working on My 4.5 Years In Review

I couldn't resist the mental midget's remarks on his blog and here they are with my comments below each point:


"I really enjoy how the Claymates want to believe that I was "stood up" by someone pretending to be Clay. Let's see;"

(Well, you did originally say that Clay Aiken was 5'8" and had "beautiful brown eyes").

1. I passed a lie detector administered by a polygrapher with 20 years experience and whose clients include the attorney generals office of NC.

1. You said it was Alan Butterfield who came to you. A swamp creature who was
on a private board I was on said you and Butterfield are REALLY friends. I
doubt the lie detector test ever existed.

2. Clay Aiken never denied the story.

2. He didn't have to. Nobody really believes you.

3. RCA, whose sales suffered as a result of the scandal, never sued.

3. Their sales suffer because Clive is a thug who limits the number of CDs
of artists who stand up for themselves. The non-shipments, shorted
shipments, belated releases at some stores and refusals to restock major
stores are documented at the Clayboard and Clackhouse.

4. I had Clay's IP address from his emails in Charlotte, Nashville, and Florida where he was performing and with date and times of those emails.

4. If that's true (BWAH) did you remember to thank Roger or Terry Goldman?

5. Clay Aiken has since never denied he was gay.

5. Bullshit! There's a video of him denying this numerous times and he
refuses to let a liar he's never met put him in a defensive position.

6. Clay Aiken has never had a girlfriend.

6. Bullshit! His family and friends who REALLY know him say differently.
Fans who have run into Clay's former girlfriends also say differently.
One former girlfriend, when asked to describe what he's like said that
he was "passionate" and "romantic" and asked a fan not to ask for details.
Another said he's a great "soul kisser". The "passionate" and "romantic"
comment can be found in the archives at The FoRT and the time frame is the
day that Clay and Amanda picked the best signs from the lawn of a radio
station. I believe it was one of the winners who had the conversation with
the former GIRLFRIEND out on the lawn.

7. Nearly ALL of Clay's friends are gay males.

7. You have no idea who his friends are because you don't know him.

8. There have been 4 separate webcam incidents involving Clay Aiken.

8. I guess you mean the ones you and your buddies created using the Thom
York photo, the one Terry Goldman created or had created with Groucho's
eyes photoshopped in, the one that a fan created along with a whacked out
story which was passed to you and you passed to Piggez. The one we
had a great laugh over when Piggez posted it on his blog.

9. Others have discussed hooking up and having sex with Clay.

9. You mean the guys randomly picked from Woodle's souvenir programs
of cast and crew members of various NY plays? Do your IMDB search, FOOL!
You'll find her name with theirs listed on productions. Does
The Johnny Show ring her bell? The only people were ones you and your ilk
lied about and one of the guys called you out when he discovered what you
did. He wasn't too happy with you, was he?

John Paulus | Homepage | 01.12.08 - 9:06 pm | # "

PS: You've been caught in every lie and you just got caught in a few more. All in a day's work.

Answers by me.