Saturday, January 31, 2009

An Ass by Any Other Name!

Of course, we're all aware of the current universal financial crunch caused by people handling OUR money. People have lost their retirement nest eggs via the corruption of money-grubbing corporate executives, investment execs lined select intracompany pockets under the guise of "bonuses" and the government says that my generation may not be able to collect Social Security because the pockets we've been paying into have a little bit of change left along with a lot of lint. Our retirement benefits have dried up and the best excuse the government can come up with is that people are living longer and there is nothing left for the "Baby Boomers" (guilty as charged). Say whaaaat?

It's supposed to go like this: we pay out the ass to IRS and we pay an almost equal amount for FICA....which means, based on our income, the government gets 30% or more of our sweat and blood during our employed life. Each generation pays into the Social Security pool which provides benefits for the previous generation. Hey! I have 2 sons paying a shitload into FICA so don't tell me my benefits won't exist when it comes time for me to sit on previously mentioned tired ass.

Well now! The revelation has begun. We're being enlightened. Our benefits are in jeopardy because...

1. Teachers and other public servants are being screwed over while our elected public officials give themselves hefty raises and hefty retirement plans. Their benefits are coming from OUR money

2. Insurance companies are screwing their customers by gouging and/or defrauding the medical field which drives up the cost of health care which drives up the cost of insurance. After all the gouging it still wasn't enough for insurance companies to continue in the lifestyle they are accustomed to so the government gives them OUR money. AIG needed it so they could party.

3. Auto manufacturers only toyed, half seriously, with fuel alternatives so now they are falling on their once plump asses. That's called fucking yourself in the ass. They may need a government bailout which comes from OUR money. Here's a clue: when the government refuses to tap into our country's own fuel supplies make a damned vehicle we can drive by farting, if necessary. Our tired asses have already been exposed so we're good.

4. Oil companies like Exxon and Chevron made whopping record breaking profits in 2008. These profits were made by screwing us.

Note to government: When it comes time to bail out the auto industry, try screwing Exxon's ass instead of mine, mmmmmkay?

5. WHAT THE FUCK?! Banks have been screwing us for years in the form of "creative" charges and now they are running out of money? Note to Banks: You're running out of money because people now cash their payroll checks at WalMart for $3.00 to avoid the "creative" holds you're putting on checks (even local ones) so you can play with your customers' money for a few days (making bad investments)....and collect more "creative" overdraft charges. The only customers you have left are companies in deep shit and check cashing companies. I quit letting you screw ME directly but the government found a way to give you more of MY money anyway.

6. Wall Street screwed everybody so the government bails it out with OUR money. Wall Street borrowed OUR money to pay their employee bonuses. Were the bonuses given as rewards for screwing US and duping the government? The new President punishes the assholes with harsh words (no disrespect intended). I dub this a triple cluster fuck.

So now I know why the age to collect 100% of my Social Security benefits has been raised. After bending us over at every turn, the government is banking on us dying soon from Hypothermia of the Ass.

Well, here's a crack (snort) for those handling my money. Will you please take your damned hands out of my pockets when you neither asked me for help nor let me have a vote. Chances are we'd all contribute a fair share in order to beat this crisis but you're giving OUR money to the same assholes who got us to this point. Cork their crevices permanently and replace the idiots with hardworking people who have lost their jobs.

Sometimes harsh words aren't enough and I need my money for the next Clay Aiken Tour and/or CD. Clay Aiken is the best way I know to warm my heart .....and my cold, tired ass.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

NO MORE TAX CUTS FOR CORPORATIONS (PLAN IS TO REDUCE CORPORATE TAX FROM 35% TO 25% SO THEY CAN SEND MORE JOBS OVERSEAS AND LAYOFF PEOPLE HERE) AND RICH PEOPLE. GIVE ME THE SAME HEALTHCARE AND PENSION (I LOST $92,000 FROM MY 401 LAST YEAR SO I FIGURE I WILL BE ABLE TO RETIRE 10 YEARS AFTER I AM DEAD)PLANS THAT CONGRESS GETS. REDUCE MY TAXES BY 10% I AM PISSED. WE REALLY NEED A REVOLUTION IN THIS COUNTRY.

Anonymous said...

Don't you just hate it when you get royally fucked and don't even get a kiss?

Love you, OhCrap. You rock, sistah.

*Corporations that send jobs overseas should be penalized to the hilt. For every job that is filled by a person in Bangalore, the fine should be equal to their annual salary. Those jobs belong HERE, to ENGLISH-SPEAKING employees. Stockholders should demand this practice, knowing that it may well impact the bottom line.

*All qualified teachers (especially K-8 teachers) should have their salaries immediately doubled, at the very least, though they must also be held accountable.

HOWEVER. "Teaching to standards" -- hoping to falsely raise test scores and thereby garner federal funding -- is unacceptable. It falls into the category of rote and memorization, promoting the fallacy of passing a pre-determined test, where students forget the "right answers" 30 minutes after taking said test.

*Don't get me started on insurance companies. I sued the hospital that killed my father because of gross negligence. I spent $90,000 to get $65,000, and it took more than three years to settle. I could have continued if I wanted to sell my home and cash in all my assets, which would have entailed another 3-4 years of being fucked by their lawyers (again, no kiss), I firmly believe. The insurance company -- with their fucking deep pockets -- would rather pay a lawyer $200,000+ a year (yep, $600,000+) that shows up as an expense of doing business than to pay me a fraction of that money, because to do so would implicate them as being somehow guilty. Which they were. Bastards. And the fucking lawyer made sure to gas up his fucking Jaguar at the station near my house. Prick.

*Exxon? Chevron? Fuck you. Again, we've been raped, with nothing close to resembling a kiss.

*As for the Wall Street bastards' bonuses...There are two jobs in this country where you can fuck up EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY and still have a job: run a company connected to Wall Street, or be a weatherperson.

I like how you think, OhCrap. One day, maybe someone with a handful of power will listen to the voices of the tired and poor, the huddled masses yearning to breathe free. (Heh. That used to describe our immigrants!)


Whew! I feel better. Thanks for the forum to rant!

Oh Crap said...

Anon, I'm so sorry about the travesty that happened to you and so many others. I've worked on a few of those high profile corporate collapses and, though I'm bound by confidentiality agreements and can't mention names, I can say that the devastation to employee retirement plans makes me want to rouff all over myself. When corporate execs were caught wallowing in their own greed and creative bookkeeping the employees were left with only pennies in their 401Ks to roll over.

Kielbasa, your rants and personality are reasons why you are one of my favorite people. I can't imagine losing a parent caused by medical negligence (or any other cause). I'm not sure I would have the patience to go after those responsible in a court. My nails and teeth would be the first things that come to mind.

I sooooo agree with you on the subject of sending work overseas because that's what affects my income.

Anonymous said...

Aww, thanks OhCrap, for your kind words. {smooch}

Just for clarification purposes, you should know that the lawsuit against my local hospital DID NOT even get CLOSE to the court/trial-by-jury phase, even though they dicked me around for close to four years. My expenses consisted of attorney retainers, court paperwork filings, depositions up the ying-yang, costs for "expert" witnesses' depositions (some wanted $7500 just to be deposed, and twice that amount to testify, plus travel expenses!) and two mediation sessions. I learned FAR more than I ever wanted about our archaic legal system and the levels of evil and greed inherent in the insurance industry.

But you'll love my parting shot the defense attorney at our final mediation session. As I walked from the conference room, I looked him square in the eye and said, "Your mother should have named you Richard."

Heh. That was worth at least $100.